Post 6

Last night I can't sleep Rul, I miss you. Umi kept on dialling your handphone yang forever unreachable. Memang pun Umi tau it's unreachable but sengaja Umi dial sekadar lepaskan rindu. Umi ingat we always miss call each other dulu, at least as a signal that we are doing fine in case tani lama inda jumpa. Umi masih ingat Azrul selalu send Umi good morning and good night messages. Then Wafi came into my life, bila Umi bagitau Azrul about Wafi, Azrul inda lagi send Umi morning and night messages. Umi tau hati Azrul hancur masatu. Umi tau Azrul sakit hati. Azrul pernah luahkan perasaan hati Azrul, but Umi rejected Azrul. Tau2 Umi bagitau Azrul that I'm in love with Wafi. Umi hancurkan hati Azrul, Umi kejam kan Rul?

But Azrul masih sudi terima Umi as a friend, Umi tau your feelings towards me never change Rul, not even a bit! The first time Azrul nampak Umi with Wafi masa Lisa's birthday party, Azrul jadi sugul and then menyendiri saja di balcony rumah Lisa. Umi masih ingat you didn't want to look at my face and into my eyes when Umi approached Azrul. Umi masih ingat tear droplets jatuh dari mata Azrul. I am sorry Rul, I know I hurt you bad. I made you cry Rul. Now it's my time to cry Rul, I just wish you can see my cry. I cried almost every night Rul, outside I may look happy, especially depan Wafi. If I should tell him everything about how I am feeling right now, Wafi will never understand, gerenti ia think negative tu.

Tadi Umi lawat Azrul after work. Umi cried lagi depan Fadil when he told me Azrul semakin critical, blood pressure makin lemah. Umi really really takut Rul. Fadil pun didn't talk much tadi, Umi tau Fadil pun susah hati. Yang Umi dapat buat masani ialah sembahyang and doa banyak2 supaya Azrul selamat. If sekiranya takdir Allah kan panggil Azrul semula pun, Umi mau lihat Azrul smile at me for one last time. Umi mau dengar Azrul cakap "Azrul sayang Umi" like I always hear before. Umi pun sayang Azrul, this time Umi mau say that to Azrul, and I want you to hear it Rul. You are my one and only best friend Rul.

I miss you so much Azrul

Love
Umi