Post 3

Yesterday hari minggu, Umi inda lawat Azrul, coz Wafi bawa jalan-jalan. Wanted to go hospital and lawat Azrul but inda sempat coz Wafi bawa tengok Vantage Point. Umi tau Azrul suka action movies cemani, it was a good movie Rul, but I can't concentrate. Dalam kepala Umi ingatkan Azrul saja, wondering how is Azrul's condition masani. I pray your condition is improving Rul, but I text Fadil, he said Azrul still in the same condition. Terbayang badan Azrul kaku with wires and needles all over, sebak rasa Umi kalau kenangkan.

My dear Azrul, Umi masih ingat Azrul feel jealous kalau Umi mention pasal Wafi. Umi masih ingat Azrul cakap "I just want you to be happy, walaupun Azrul swallow the bitter pill." You're so sweet Rul, I respect you for having a strong love for me. Umi tau Umi selalu saja cerita pasal Wafi tempat Azrul walaupun Umi tau it will make Azrul jealous and hurt. Umi kejam kan Rul? Umi jahat! Umi selfish! Umi pentingkan diri sendiri! Tapi Azrul masih maintain, masih mampu tunjukkan kasih sayang Azrul arah Umi, masih mampu cium dahi Umi. Umi tahu Azrul sayangkan Umi, so much, too much! Umi didn't bother to appreciate how Azrul feel for me. Now sudah Azrul terlantar, baru Umi rasa tercari2. How I wish Azrul dapat baca everything yang Umi tulis in this blog. Please wake up Rul, so I can tell you, so I can show you this blog.

Today Monday, Umi busy banyak urusan. After work, Umi sound tempat Wafi kan minta bawa ke hospital lawat Azrul. But Wafi said, "Lagi?". Umi didn't say a word, malas kan argue lagi. Umi tau Wafi jealous, walaupun he tried to hide it and buat2 sporting, but apparently tadi when he said that, I saw his reluctance. I know Wafi jealous Rul, Umi tau Wafi dalam diam rasa uneasy coz Umi pun rapat sama Azrul. But he can't stop me Rul, Azrul is my friend, my close friend.

So Umi balik rumah saja tadi, kan drive ke hospital sendiri, but it was raining heavily. Azrul pun tau Umi takut drive kalau hujan, lagipun gerenti Wafi won't let me. I miss you Rul, I really miss you. Dua hari sudah inda lihat Azrul di hospital. Tadi Umi dial handphone Azrul, Umi tau Azrul won't be there to answer it, but Umi dial jua sekadar kan lepaskan rindu, lagipun it's unreachable jua. Esok no matter what Umi mesti lawat Azrul. I really want to be by the side of your bed and watch Azrul's improvement. Umi mau lihat Azrul buka mata. Please wake up Rul, I really miss everything about you. Umi mau minta maaf banyak2 tempat Azrul, Umi selalu sakitkan hati Azrul. Please forgive me Rul.

Wafi won't understand about our friendship Rul, dalam blog ani tah saja tempat Umi luahkan rasa hati Umi. Umi mau Azrul baca blog ani one day sudah Azrul sihat. Bangun tah Rul, Umi will wait. Umi mau minta ampun dan minta maaf. Umi ingat the last time tani jumpa was a day before Azrul accident. Azrul terus terang bagitau yang Azrul jealous kalau Umi cakap pasal Wafi. Umi cuma cakap "I'm sorry." Azrul tundukkan muka. Umi tau Azrul hampa, but after that Azrul pegang tangan Umi dan kiss dahi Umi before Azrul left. Rul, Umi can feel how much you love and care for me everytime you kiss my forehead Rul. But entah kenapa I can't accept you Rul, masih jua my heart tetap for my Wafi. Rul, I know my writings disini pun dapat sakitkan hati Azrul, but I just want you to know the confusion that I feel.

Please get well soon Rul, please.

Love
Umi